Misery Loves Company (Sept. 6)

Unemployment Rises, Wrong USF Business Professor Acts Like His Prediction Was Right

"The unemployment numbers are consistently coming in higher that expected,'' said Jon B. Fisher, an adjunct professor at USF who previously led three Silicon Valley start-ups -- so obviously he should know all about unemployment.

Governor Fires Students and Keeps Cal Grant Money

Gov. Schwarzenegger decides to slash student jobs and Cal Grants to balance the stalled budget, in hopes that between hooking up and smoking weed college students wouldn't notice.

Fresno County Releases 800 Prisoners and Lays Off 50 to Save Money

Obviously public safety is a drain on upper management, so Sheriff Margaret Mims decided to make it easier on herself and those higher-ups. Unfortunately the prisoners then proceeded to steal the county jail.

Families Overwhelm County Buildings for . . . for these weird things called books and CDs?!?

Archaeologists have uncovered odd buildings in many cities and counties call "libraries," an ancient temple for things called "books" and "CDs."

"I hear that they were kind of like iPods but held, like, only six or seven songs," said Brittnei McJobs. "They're kind of weird." McJobs had no recollection of anything called a book.