Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Misery Loves Company, Aug. 5

SF Chronicle to Lay Off 125, Stories to be Written by Ninth-Graders

When asked, publisher Frank Vega said, "Why ninth-graders? Because they work for Doritos!"

Hewlett-Packard Plan to Lay Off 300 in Pacific Northwest, Printer Test Pages Now Say, "%$#& you, HP!"

The printer giant hopes to outsource jobs to India. Translations for "%$#& you, HP!" made available.

MDRNA Lays Off 30 Percent, Including Company President Who Thought They Were Joking

"Good one, Jim!" Gordon Brandt said when told.

Indian Retailers Lay Off "Non-Performing" Senior Executives, U.S. Counterparts Look Up "Non-Performing"

"That's ludicrous!" said McGinty McCashcow, a $28-million-a-year CEO whose company has lost $200 million this year so far. "Executives are paid for their expertise, their golf game, their liquid lunches and private clubs. Using performance is completely arbitrary."

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