Monday, August 11, 2008

Misery Loves Company (Aug. 11)

Shutterfly closes Hayward facility, swats more than 100 jobs away

Shutterfly flew too close to the bugzapper of death, at least in Hayward, and is moving to Phoenix, where shutterflies apparently roam free.

Queen of the Valley in Napa Lays Off 81 of its Subjects

The hospital plans to cut costs by having patients act as their own nurse and do rotating bedpan cleaning and IV refreshing.

DMV to Eliminate Saturday Service, Gov. Nixes Plan to Find Eighth-Graders to Work for Doritos

"As it turned out, the ethanol boom has created very, very expensive corn snacks," the governor said. "Doritos, as it turns out, are more than we can afford. Instead, we will use generic 'flavored tortilla chips.'"

Office Depot Drops New Stores, No One Notices

Office Depot initially had 75 stores to open this year and has since lowered that number to 15, getting rid of 60 stores by painstakingly soaking them with 2 million bottles of its 99-cent multipurpose correction fluid.

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