Unemployment Rises, Wrong USF Business Professor Acts Like His Prediction Was Right
"The unemployment numbers are consistently coming in higher that expected,'' said Jon B. Fisher, an adjunct professor at USF who previously led three Silicon Valley start-ups -- so obviously he should know all about unemployment.
Governor Fires Students and Keeps Cal Grant Money
Gov. Schwarzenegger decides to slash student jobs and Cal Grants to balance the stalled budget, in hopes that between hooking up and smoking weed college students wouldn't notice.
Fresno County Releases 800 Prisoners and Lays Off 50 to Save Money
Obviously public safety is a drain on upper management, so Sheriff Margaret Mims decided to make it easier on herself and those higher-ups. Unfortunately the prisoners then proceeded to steal the county jail.
Families Overwhelm County Buildings for . . . for these weird things called books and CDs?!?
Archaeologists have uncovered odd buildings in many cities and counties call "libraries," an ancient temple for things called "books" and "CDs."
"I hear that they were kind of like iPods but held, like, only six or seven songs," said Brittnei McJobs. "They're kind of weird." McJobs had no recollection of anything called a book.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Top 10 Things to Do When Laid Off (Bay Area)
10. Call employed friends at work and tell them you're wearing "Hello Kitty" pajamas, drinking beer and watching "Oprah." Ask, "How's your day?"
9. Buy loads of beer with your first unemployment check.
8. Stay up until 4 a.m. playing "Spore" and listening to ABBA, wake up at noon and head out to the nearest public park. Lay around on grass with laptop beside you, to make people think you're a rich hipster.
7. Teach cat to walk on a leash.
6. Buy witch hazel for scratches.
5. Write a book. Or lie on the grass with the laptop beside you.
4. Give the gift of life at $100 a cup !
3. Give the gift of life at $8,000 per unpleasant gynecological procedure!
2. Sign up the person who terminated you for embarrassing magazines at the workplace, like American Cheerleader or Twist.
1. Go to a career one-stop, attend a class, and after every key point say in a foreign accent, "Then do I give the happy ending?"
9. Buy loads of beer with your first unemployment check.
8. Stay up until 4 a.m. playing "Spore" and listening to ABBA, wake up at noon and head out to the nearest public park. Lay around on grass with laptop beside you, to make people think you're a rich hipster.
7. Teach cat to walk on a leash.
6. Buy witch hazel for scratches.
5. Write a book. Or lie on the grass with the laptop beside you.
4. Give the gift of life at $100 a cup !
3. Give the gift of life at $8,000 per unpleasant gynecological procedure!
2. Sign up the person who terminated you for embarrassing magazines at the workplace, like American Cheerleader or Twist.
1. Go to a career one-stop, attend a class, and after every key point say in a foreign accent, "Then do I give the happy ending?"
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